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What a real woman looks like

Tuesday, June 5, 2012



  I saw this on facebook a few days ago and it struck me as a very important message that I need to share:


image from whirlygigagogo

I started this blog for "curvy" girls like me who have a hard time dressing their body types. Over the past few years, I have been an advocate for loving your body and embracing your curves. I love the look of a curvy shape and I've been a defender of the plus size gal for ages.

For a while now, I've seen these "when did this become hotter than this" posts all over the internet and it bothers me. Although I have stood up for the big booty, seeing the slender gal getting picked on just isn't right! Skinny women are sexy too.  The "real women have curves" motto is just as damaging as the idea that women have to be thin to be beautiful. Butt fat is not a measure of beauty or womanhood! Isn't it hard enough being a girl in the world without our sisters judging our waist size?

Some women were born to be curvy and others were born to be thin. Some of us have medical problems that impact our size and some have had surgery to reduce size or excess skin after weight loss. Some skinny gals wear padded bras while some curvy ones wear waist cinchers. Do any of those factors make that woman less "real" than the next?

Let's all join together as sisters and embrace true beauty and womanhood in all of its shapes and sizes. While the ideal of female beauty has changed over time, the fact is, you are all beautiful, real women. Spread the love today and send a compliment to a fellow sister just to let her know that she is lovely too!

40 Responses to “What a real woman looks like”

  1. YES!!! i've been thinking the same thing...i HATE those 'this is hotter than this' posts. all women are 'real' women. (not to mention the fact that all those images are photo shopped anyways!)

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  2. Hear bloody hear!

    I really don't understand why anyone feels the need to put others down in order to feel more attractive themselves. It's a very ugly trait and it seems to be everywhere.

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  3. Very nicely put!!! Thank you for this post.

    It is a very delicate balance though, trying to be healthy (eating well, exercising, etc) and trying not to obsess over parts of us that we may not love (for whatever reason)

    It is all about loving who you are, being the best that you can be (not struggling to be someone else)

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  4. I have always been bothered by the phrase "real woman" - I am not skinny, but I don't have the "right" curves (a tiny bust, without the tiny waist to match). When the world tries to define beauty or sex appeal as something that I can never achieve naturally, it can hurt. Luckily, I stay away from most of these forms of media and have learned to be comfortable with who I am, just as I am. Yes, we need to support the fact that women come in all shapes in sizes - and that is a beautiful thing.

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  5. I agree with you, though I dislike the term "curvy", as being the new ideal look. I'm "curvy" but not in the places society considers the new hot... I'm chubby but don't really have any boobs or butt! Just tummy and thighs, hah. It seems if you don't have the weight in an hourglass shape then you're just fat? Oh well, 'tis my lot in life!

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  6. Thank you everyone for your comments so far! I agree that society has put a new image on the word "curvy" and that the hourglass ideal just isn't possible for everyone. All curves are beautiful, weather those curves are in lips, eyes, waist or wherever....and they don't require a matching curve to be validated! :) x

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  7. I love the one size fits all, maybe you should make it a widget that we can all have on our blogs. I'm not skinny or curvy more of a potbelly tree trunk, but hey I still have to love me!!

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  8. This is so incredibly well said. Concise, honest, and perfectly spot on. I adore that you addressed some of the reasons why women's bodies can very (including health problems), and that - like myself - you feel beauty can come in countless shapes and sizes.


    Countless hugs,
    ♥ Jessica

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  9. Here! Here! Your words echo my thoughts exactly. I am petite, busty, and no hips. I am 56 and struggling to defy gravity but being healthy, eating right and embracing my odd body is my positive journey. I am learning to ignore 'fashion' and put on my body what looks good, accentuates my assets and makes me feel good about my self and support my self confidence. I stopped looking at fashion magazines ages ago - they don't believe in real women like us. To all my sisters - begin by loving yourself and the world will love you.

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  10. I was just ranting about this on my personal Facebook recently... I am so tired of all the labels being imposed on us as women regarding what a "real" or "ideal" woman is. So. Over. It. I have friends who are smaller than a size 0 and those who are a size 22, and they are all WOMEN and BEAUTIFUL.

    Although some may argue it, I don't really fit into the skinny or curvy categories--even at different weights throughout my life--and so I've always felt alienated a bit from that concept of "fitting in" regarding shape. It just makes me sad to see such pressure being put on women by other women (usually--since these memes originate online). Why can't we just be happy with being women and get on with our lives? There is so much more richness to life than worrying about fitting into a certain group or body-type box.

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  11. Hurrah! Hear hear!
    From a fellow curvy girl who is starting to love her shape, it has been difficult to accept it when the societal norms don't accommodate.
    Have you thought about making that image(Beauty one size fits all) into a button we can put on our blogs in support?
    x

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  12. I couldn't agree more! Especially love this line: "Isn't it hard enough being a girl in the world without our sisters judging our waist size?"

    It always frustrates me when comments about size, figure, or style leave the impression that one is better than another. In fact when I first saw you post that image (on Pinterest or wherever it was), I could only see the top part but then I got a big smile on my face when I saw the whole thing. YES! We're all beautiful! Wouldn't this planet be a boring place if we were all the same?

    We're only dealt one body and we have to learn to love it the best we can. Have you seen the recent Dove commercial about girls and self-esteem, showing developing girls uncomfortable at swimming and in the gym? It brings a tear to my eye (as well as memories of the first time other girls made me feel bad about my body). We face so many obstacle as girls and then as women based on just appearance alone, we need to stand together and welcome the things that make our bodies unique! We're all different yet we all struggle with our own body's quirks, whatever those quirks may be. We ALL share that in common, no matter our shape or size. None of us fit into a perfect box.

    What a great post, Brittany! We're all beautiful, each and every one of us. :)

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  13. Brittney,

    I have had so much trouble with my weight for ages. I am really really tiny at no fault of my own. I am a size 0 and I am teased and ridiculed and constantly asked if I have anorexia. So many people use those pictures to make people love their bodies, when it makes me hate mine even further. It's both refreshing and nice to see someone FINALLY post about this issue.

    LOVE YOUR BLOG!
    Kelly

    pretentiousvintage.blogspot.com

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  14. Ooooh yes ... "curvey is the new black".

    A few years ago I hidden me in long and wide clothes ... most of dem black. But since two years as I begun with sewing my on dresses I became more courageous. Now I show my curves ... and I love my new look.

    Thank you for this post!

    Steffi from Germany

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  15. I have been thinking of making the exakt same post! Now I don't have to. ;) I love that tehre are blogs, like yours, with women who I share figure with, as I can't find that elsewhere. BUT that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate other body types and think they are pretty! I hate this eother or mentality which means that if you like something you must, per definition, hate the opposite. I want to be able to celebrate my figure, be allowed to feel perfectly fine in my weight and still thjhink that women in other sizes are beautiful too!

    Perhaps I should make a post about it anyway- to spread the word, so to speak. :D

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  16. I completely agree

    society today has put so much pressure on people today to fit this cookie cutter image that is for some reason now portrayed by things like the media as the "only" way to look which is just completely delusional. people are bored millions of different shapes and sizes, and everyone of them is beautiful. But it truly saddens me to see the younger generations of girl become more and more obsessed about how much they weigh and how they look, they are becoming less and less confident in their own individual beauty. all us women need to embrace individual beauty, and if we do society will eventually fallow. everyone is beautiful and everyone should feel beautiful and not be told otherwise by anyone.
    i just adored this post my dear thank you for writing on this subject that needed much attention. you are the best my dear!

    big hugs and best wishes,
    TheRitzyFlapper (Alicia)

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  17. I absolutely agree! My high school counsellor had a poster on her wall saying "real women have curves" and I stopped seeing her after I noticed it because I just felt so completely invalidated by it. There needs to be a way for women to feel beautiful without putting others down.

    By the way, I've seen a really funny version of that has paintings of renaissance ladies for the bottom panel!

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  18. Thank you so much for posting this. I read your blog on a regular basis and even though I have they very opposite body type that you do I find your posts very inspiring and your picture beautiful. I love how you embrace what you have and play up all of your good points and you do it with grace and style! You seem to be a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you again.

    Brooksie

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    1. Yeah, what she said. You are such a pleasant, positive person, Ms. Brittany.

      Brooke's Mom!
      (How cool, Brooksie, I have a daughter named "Brooke")

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  19. Lovely post. Thanks for sharing this. I've fought with my own body a long time. And in the end I've come to decide that overall health and happiness is more important than vanity. So losing weight has become a quest for a stronger, healthier body and not necessarily a smaller size. It's hard sometimes to tell myself that beauty is blind to the pants size, but I'll try to keep this in mind.

    <3 Jackie @ Let's Go Thrifting!
    http://LetsGoThrifting.blogspot.com

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  20. Such a great post and a fabulous poter, thanks for showing it to us! I don't agree with the pressure on girls to be skinny, but because it is reported so much I do feel sorry for the people who are just naturally skinny and then get people talking about them saying hat they are damaging their bodies by being that skinny. You are right all women are beautiful, whatever shape, size or nationality. XxxX

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  21. YES - this is what my blog is all about :) I am a recovered anorexic and I am now a healthy (for me) size 12-14 (UK). When I was younger I was bullied for being chubby but then when I became extremely thin through my eating disorder I was bullied for being too skinny, I even had food thrown at me with shouts of "eat this you skinny bitch" so I have faced both sides of the body negativity parade - I have to say that although now I am in the "in-between" size as it where, I still get comments about being "overweight" I just think it's ridiculous that people feel it is OK to judge others by their size - the people who make these comments don't know me - my weight no longer defines me in my own head but in the outside world I am still judged by my appearances - it makes me very angry which is why i'm fighting for a change - if your healthy and happy then embrace your body!! Please don't waste your time on extreme diets like I did - I was so miserable when I was ill i'd hate to think of anyone living a similar life to what I did back then xxxx

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  22. The ideal "beauty" weight interestingly seems to vary somewhat in reverse proportion to the availability of food. I don't like to use Renaissance art as an example because those usually were not modeled off actual women, but for example in places like Africa heavier women are often preferred. Also, a lot of what one strives for in creating the look of "beauty" is actually an appearance of youth -- and most people put on more weight as they age. So that is another factor.

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  23. "Skinny women are sexy too. The "real women have curves" motto is just as damaging as the idea that women have to be thin to be beautiful. Butt fat is not a measure of beauty or womanhood! Isn't it hard enough being a girl in the world without our sisters judging our waist size?"

    Thank you for saying this! I've always been naturally thin. But growing up in a culture where feminine beauty was defined by having curves and then some, I felt abnormal. I even tried to gain weight at one point. Didn't work! As I've gotten older, I've come to accept my body as it is. And thanks to three kids, I've got a bit more curves :)

    Congrats on your weight loss!

    Mary Ellen
    The Working Home Keeper

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  24. Well said! I have friends who are naturally very thin and I have friends who are much bigger, we are all different and we're all women and all beautiful in our own ways.

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  25. AMEN sista! I love this post! I am a petite curvy gal, and at one point when I was a teenager I had stopped eating hoping that I would eventually look like the "ideal" woman in todays time, all of my friends at the time did look like that ideal, and I felt so left out! It didn't help that I was put down by those friends and one the mothers for having my shape.

    I'm sorry to say that the only thing that came of that experiment was losing 10 pounds which my little 15 year old body could not handle, making me feel weak and sick. I do NOT suggest ever doing that! Or over eating to gain a curvy figure.

    I am a big fan of loving who you are as a woman, because we are all beautiful inside and out. We just have to learn how to let that shine and radiate from us. I have learned this from my own personal experience and feel that we all should believe and feel it, and hopefully no other girl or woman need go through any of this stereo typing any longer!

    Adios!
    Jessie Lou

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  26. This is why I love your blog. And I think loving thin or curvy/over-weight women depends on taste. But it is not healthy to be either too over-weight nor too thin, and none of this looks sexy (in my opinion). I think you are a great person and mother to have decided to loose weight and become more healthy. I'm sure you will still be healthy and keep your curves. I'm curvy, like Marilyn Monroe, but not over-weight (I would like to loose 4 pounds, but it's just silly), and I love your blog. DH lost 6 pounds his first week on WW too. And would love to hear about your project. Have a lovely day, dear. :)

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  27. Couldnt of said it better myself <3

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  28. "Some women were born to be curvy and others were born to be thin. Some of us have medical problems that impact our size and some have had surgery to reduce size or excess skin after weight loss. Some skinny gals wear padded bras while some curvy ones wear waist cinchers. Do any of those factors make that woman less "real" than the next?"

    Just found your blog through a link to this post. I love that you acknowledge all these different situations. So often one hears that "being happy and healthy is beautiful" without recognizing that people can be beautiful without being healthy, such as people with medical problems that cannot be controlled. We're all real women, regardless of situation. Thank you for writing such a lovely post.

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  29. Great post. I don't let 2013 tell me what a "real" woman looks like. All women are real. What should matter is being really healthy. Healthy is beautiful, but not always vice-versa.

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  30. Thank you!

    I found your blog minutes ago, and wow, this is something that needed to be said! I have been thinking about this a lot for the last months, but havent ffound a way to put ii on words, and you did a great job writing this. I have been bothered by this my whole life, being from a culture where only curvier women are considered "real" and it has always put so much preasure on me, since I am naturally thin(both geneticaly and because of my fast metabolism and very small bones). My family has made many efforts to make me gain weight since I was a kid, but the doctors always said that I was just fine, and healthy. But I was very unhappy with my body because of the comments of my family and society (I was also unhappy about my curly hair, tanned skin tone, height, long legs, teeth, round nose, and much more, yes, I had a very low self-esteem)I was also bullied, and rejected by many people just for my appearence. It saddens me because many girls have been through this, discrimination because of their appearence.

    Now, I really don't care what society says about "perfect body type" and I ignore my grandparents, aunts and uncles when they say I need to gain weight, because "its not normal to be so skinny" . I embrace all my features, and love myself for being unique and dont try to fit with what is "in". I still have my days when I hate everything about myself, but I guess we all have bad days, but in general I love my body hehehe and I love diversity, and I find beauty in it!

    Thanks for this fantastic post,
    Winic

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  31. Over a year late still this post is spot on. Glad I read it first thing this morning. You know I've gotta pay it forward on my Graciously Grey blog.

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  32. I am so pleased you posted this, I can't tell you how much I hate seeing those 'Curvy girls are better than skinny girls' pictures everywhere! We're all born differently and calling some fat is just as bad as calling someone flat!
    x

    http://rosalynleesilvers.blogspot.co.uk/

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  33. Haha, I was browsing your site for pin curl advice (thank you btw) and I saw the headline of this post was "What a real woman looks like" and I was like ughhh please don't be another "real women have curves" post... luckily I clicked on it and read it hahaa. For the record, although I clearly value the personality and insight you put into your posts more than anything, I also noticed that you're very striking - the Rita Hayworth hair post seriously confused me because it took me a few minutes to register that the photo of YOU wasn't actually Rita Hayworth and I was like "where's the after photo??" lol. Anyways, women aren't bodies, we're humans! Even if media hasn't caught onto that fact yet :P

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    1. oh thank you so much, what a sweet compliment! Yes, we're all just people with feelings trying to get by in the world and size has nothing to do with beauty or sex appeal :) Thank you so much for stopping by!!

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