Slideshow Widget

You aren't curvy enough to be plus size

Sunday, December 8, 2013



I was on facebook this morning when I read a very sad thing from Elly Mayday's page. Elly is a unbelievably gorgeous pin up model who began her career as a plus sized girl, campaigning for body acceptance and loving yourself. Recently, she has been battling with cancer and through it all has remained strong and just as lovely as ever.

She received a comment from a fan telling her that she won't be her fan anymore because she has lost weight (due to cancer) and basically that it's not okay for plus sized girls to build up a following as a big girl and drop some pounds later.




This struck me personally. In 2011 I posted about how I had surgery to remove my gallbladder and wanted to lose weight to improve my health and be able to be energetic and fit for myself and for my kids. Wouldn't you know it, I got some less-than-positive feedback from someone about how disappointed she is that I want to lose weight. See that post here

Girls, I weigh 217 pounds today. I am 28 years old and 5 foot 7 inches tall. This is not healthy. If I continue making the choices that I have been making, I will eventually have serious health problems. My back will hurt, my knees will give out, I certainly wont  be able to fit into any of my lovely vintage dresses....and running through the park with my kids? Forget about it.



It's okay to embrace your flaws, to love your body and to dress to make yourself feel beautiful. It's not okay to abuse your body by eating McDonald's every day because "big is beautiful". Curves are lovely but there's a fine line between "big is beautiful" and a deadly problem. I'm not trying to be hurtful or mean. I say these things because I care about myself and I care about others. I had a family member who was a mother of 3 and died too young because of problems relating to her weight. Now her kids have to raise their children without a grandma. It was very much a situation like "What's Eating Gilbert Grape"....minus the house-burning.

So far this month, I've lost 5 pounds and I'm hoping to get down to 160 by summer. I won't ever be a skinny girl because my body wasn't made to fit into a size 5 but I want to be healthy for my family and for myself. Some may approve and cheer me on and some may say nasty things because I'm not fat enough for them anymore.  I feel sad for these people because they are totally missing the point of being body positive. Really, they are just as bad as people who say you have to be skinny to be beautiful.

Like Elly, I will always campaign for self love, acceptance and a body positive way of thinking but I will also stress the importance of taking care of yourself. Stay strong, stay beautiful and for goodness sake- 
support your sisters regardless of their dress size!



53 Responses to “You aren't curvy enough to be plus size”

  1. People can be so horrible and stupid. It would never even cross my mind to unfollow someone just because they gained or lost weight

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't understand that either. I don't understand why women can't support each other and lift each other up no matter what we weigh or look like! We are all in this life together, just trying to do our best--let's be each others' cheerleaders instead of detractors! We'll all be happier!

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG THANK YOU FOR THIS!
    I'm around 240lbs and I'l 5ft 6. I never worried that much about my weight when I was 180lbs but over the last two years it has somehow crept up on me and now I'm not happy. When I say I want to lose some weight, and look to my friends to support me all I get is "Oh, you're just become a victim of the 'skinner is best' brigade, or that what I really need to better self esteem/body confidence/self acceptance.

    NO. Actually, what I need is to be able to walk up stairs without getting out of breath. I'd like for my back and knees not to hurt. I'd like not to have shooting pains in the arches of my feet because I'm too heavy. I'd like to be able to go to a theme park without worrying that I won't fit in the seats - which has happened recently.

    This is a big difference between being curvy and being unhealthy. I despise bloggers who are grossly overweight claiming that they are happy and healthy at that size so it's okay, and then having their readers support them for it! No one would be supporting someone who was severely underweight who said that so long as they were happy their weight didn't matter. It's exactly the same.

    I'm not aiming to be a size 6 either, I'd just like to be healthy. That's all. This is a brilliant post. Well done you.

    Amber xo
    www.penchanting.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your comment! I am so sad by people who can't just be kind and supportive. Well, you go girl, you can do it!! If you're looking for some healthy recipes, check out Skinny Taste. I LOOVE her site because I love food! I have never cooked something from her site that wasn't absolutely divine. Its all weight watchers friendly and tastes sinful as can be! xx

      Delete
  4. I can't believe what women say to each other! Being NICE isn't hard. Being thoughtful isn't either. Choose the best, release the rest. Not everyone has a blog as lovely as this- so there! (I always enjoy my time on your site. Mine is up and running . Would welcome your comments)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh thank you!! Can you leave me a link to your blog? I'm always looking for lovely new reads!! x

      Delete
  5. I think it's about acceptance and no judgement at any size. Your message is wonderful it's about guidance and health. I was overweight and at my height after having my children I made a lifestyle change in eating habits. I gave up the wheat and started eating low carb with as much fruits and vegetables as I like. I also stopped listening to the messages of eating "low fat" processed foods...pass me the butter, coconut and whole milk please:) It's sad that this lady should be criticized for losing weight, even more so as she has to battle cancer, just as others should not be judged for gaining weight. All these pressures about image.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I absolutely agree with this! Body acceptance is such an important thing, but the distinction between being okay with your weight and how you look, and also making sure that you are HEALTHY is one that really needs to be noted. Everyone is built differently, and everyone's healthy weight/size is different. Being comfortable not being a size 2 is so important. There is no reason to feel bad about yourself because you don't conform to society's impossible physical ideal, but if you are not healthy you're not doing yourself any favors either. That said, everyone's personal "battle" with finding and accepting their own healthy weight is their own business, and it is absolutely mind-boggling that others feel it is their right to comment on other people's appearance (especially when they have no idea what their story is).

    *Side note, that is one of my FAVORITE movies! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is amazing and perfect.
    Be healthy. Your body will decide what size is right for you. Size doesn't define us. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm glad you posted this. It is sad when people miss the point of accepting your body and being healthy. All of our bodies are naturally different and taking care of ourselves is what is beautiful. As a blogger, it can be a challenge to maintain positive body image despite common warped views-keep it up! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I hear, ya! Really, I've struggled with my weight my whole life! I know what it's life to be poked fun of for having wide hips and a big butt. And when I hear women who are plus sized being called ugly because they are not healthy, I do feel defensive. I would very much like to get myself back down to that 150s/160s again where I was a size 10/12. I was very happy and could find loads of vintage goodies in my size.

    I just wish women would stop bashing plus size women as much as curvy women would stop bashing slender figures. We're all beautifully made and each of us are as unique as a fingerprint. Some women are naturally slender, some women are buxom, some are very petite. Girl power doesn't begin with bashing your own kind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes, exactly!! It's hard being a girl so we have to all stand strong together!! :)

      Delete
  10. Yes, thank you! I agree that you should love your body, but being unhealthy is nothing to celebrate.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Awesome post!

    I too, struggle with my weight (and I am short to boot!)

    I have a friend who is a skinny minny, but she also has health problems that I wouldn't want to have.

    As has been said before, you don't know what someone else is going through or struggling with. I don't understand why people have to be so judgmental of others. Why can't we all just be supportive of each other? And I'm not just talking weight either.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Awesome post ! I love how you make EVERYONE feel GREAT about themselves :) Same story kinda happened to me ... I used to be the average size 8/10 long term breastfeeding mom, then I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondilitis and severe food intolerances, now I'm a size 4. I don't mind because this is just how things are, my husband is like "oh, whatever makes you healthier, I love you", but sometimes I'm "that skinny bitch" "she must be vomiting her food you know" "oh does she even eat at all ?". Why thank you ladies, I couldn't care less, but well, this isn't nice at all, and it can be really harmful if you're not self confident. (hopefully I get lots of love and support). Can't people mind their own cellulite ? We all have some, so let's love each other <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes! Skinny girls have a hard time especially with all of the talk about how its so great to be plus sized. There are plenty of women out there who try to gain weight and they just can't, no matter how much they eat! We all have our problems and our feelings about our bodies. Its so important to tell each other that we're strong and beautiful and worth being loved!!

      Delete
  13. Beautifully said, Brittany. All women need to be more supportive of each other instead of so jealous of each other. Thank you for being such a positive role model.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I completely agree with you! People should be able to be comfortable in their own body, whatever shape they are. However, there is a different between being curvy and being unhealthy, the same is true for people who are severely underweight. You shouldn't have to put your health at risk just so you can call yourself curvy/skinny - your health comes first.
    Jodie
    Future Freaks Me

    ReplyDelete
  15. Brittney,
    This was the saddest post.. It broke my heart. I can't believe anyone would be so cruel to a person who is battling cancer.. Oh my...What a world we live in. I personally, will be praying for this lady.. May God bless her and help her.

    We should love and encourage each other,no matter what our weights and shapes are. Each person looks and is made differently.. Our health is the most important thing.. We should encourage each other to be healthy..[and for me, I love the fact that you share all your beautiful vintage clothes, sewing.. and I really love that you are trying to be healthy for your own self, and to be there for your family.. Love the recipes and the sharing of healthy eating.. we all need encouraging. and our blogs, should portray us in our lives. not what some one else wants us to be?] Thank you for sharing this. I for one.. say continue your quest to loose weight and be happy [because we know it is a never ending battle.]
    Hugs..

    ReplyDelete
  16. No one turns on women like other women ain't that the truth. Good for you for wanting to be healthy for all the right reasons. x

    ReplyDelete
  17. You go girl! I am petite, but I obviously support women of all shapes feeling beautiful! However, you're so right. being healthy makes such a positive difference in life. how could health not be supported? Thanks for your honesty, and keep doing what you're doing! You're awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The bottom line is that our bodies are our own, to maintain as we wish. For someone to determine for another what their beauty or weight standard should be is absolutely unacceptable. This is my body. I maintain it for myself, for my spouse, for my children, for my family. No one has agency over me but me. People would do well to remember that.

    ReplyDelete
  19. That is disgusting! How can she get attacked for having cancer (which is the main reason why she's losing weight so quickly)?! Sigh!!! I think once we put ourselves out there (with the blogs) we are really inviting people to voice their opinions. I mean I imagine most of these nasty comments wouldn't reach you if you weren't a blogger!

    I find body image is a scary thing to address as a blogger. I found out that I had a follower on Instagram that is a 14 year old anorexic girl and she kept liking my photos and saying I look great! I am not anorexic (currently munching on 4 slices of bread with Nutella for breakfast) but I do have a crazy high metabolism. I try to post pictures of food and my active life (I don't exercise but I do walk everywhere) but I think girls like her selectively read my posts and use me as their thinspiration! Ugh :( :( Just leave my body alone! :(

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think you have written a great post about such an important subject. I find it hard to believe that a woman could be attacked for loosing weight, let alone when it is the result of an illness. As you say, larger or smaller, it is being a healthy weight for your frame which is important. I am currently the largest I have ever been and I know I need to loose weight, not because of any pressure to be skinny but because I know I am not as healthy as I could be. Wouldn't it be nice if all woman could support each other, regardless of our dress size?

    ReplyDelete
  21. It really does send a shiver up one's spine when you hear things like that, to think that anyone would chide someone who was plus size losing weight (either by choice or circumstance, let alone due to that most vicious of diseases, cancer). I firmly believe in accepting and loving your body at any size (after all, it's the only one we've got - why hate it ever?), but that doesn't mean you have to "settle" with your weight if you're not happy about it and are able to do something to change that fact. I commend you, your honesty and earnest desire to change your size for the sake of your long-term health so very much, Brittany, and will be here cheering you on and supporting you always at any weight.

    ♥ Jessica

    ReplyDelete
  22. I've been "plus sized" for a long time. All the ailments you mentioned about hurting knees, etc. I have.. You can be generously made and still be healthy, and I applaud you for your efforts. Keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I find myself struggling with this mentality frequently. It is so hard to promote healthy body image with young girls, while still encouraging them to eat healthy and exercise for their health. I worry that as a culture, we may be replacing one unhealthy standard with another. Sometimes the skinny bashing gets as hateful as the rest of it. We need to find a good balance. Thanks for shedding some light on the issue!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thank you for this post, and good for you doing what you need to for your health and family. I find that those vintage ads weight-gaining ads send exactly the same message as today's weight-loss ads...just to a different set of people.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thank you for this post! You've nailed what I've felt for a long time, just so much more well-phrased! Exchanging one unhealthy ideal with another for me seems bad in the long run. I love the expression body positive! Hadn't heard it before =)

    I've gained weight, I've lost it - and lost too much of it for a short time (nothing serious, but I was going in a bad direction). Over time I've found that when I feel absolutly best about my body, when I just like it and am geniually proud of it, is when I take care of it. Eating healthy (and eating myself full three times a day) and just as important: excersize. When one is focusing on what the body can do, weight and such seems unimportant. Can I walk in a brisk pace for 10 min? 15? 30? Can I do that lift at the gym? If not, how can I manage it? It might take a while, and need a few part-goals along the way, but one can change a lot with just sheer stuborness and time. For me the key is to not over-do it - not working out too much, set too high goals or start obsessing too much about food - but take it in small strides and still make it a part of my everyday life.

    I'm cheering for you in your quest for a healthy life, and hope that you will always be able to chase your kids (and later perhaps grand-kids ; ) ) around the park!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I think I read a similar article recently by a model who found herself in this invisible 'inbetween zone' because she wasn't skinny but she wasn't 'plus-size' either. It feels like you have to be squarely in one category to get any acceptance or recognition. We're a long way off from recognizing body diversity.

    ReplyDelete
  27. That was a terribly mean thing to do and everyone should do what is right for them. If you are ready to lose weight for your health then I say go for it and be proud!

    I recently lost a signifigant amount of weight. I started a medication to help end my fight with migraines and I was always very small before having children anyway. The comments I have had from people have not been that nice. I have heard everything from "you are wasting away" to "don't lose too much" to "your not still losing weight are you?"

    I am only 5'2" tall. I was 142 pounds and my father died of a heart attack at age 55. I also wanted to be healthy for my children. So I did want to lose some of the weight. I did not expect to lose as much as I did, mind you, but I did want to get healthy. I did think my friends and family would be proud of me or supportive but I got the opposite. I don't understand this. I think we should just let people be who they are.

    The world would be a very boring place if we were all the same and all looked the same! Everyone has to do what is right for them and some people have a reason for what they are doing or for how they look. Sometimes it is a health reason. People need to learn to have compassion for others and stop being so selfish and mean. It is ok to be who you are. You are beautiful how you look now and will be beautiful when you lose weight. I'm sure you will be even more beautiful because it sounds like it is something you want to do for yourself and that it will make you proud once you accomplish your goal. I commend you for posting this here. I think it is an important topic to get out there.

    Here is to being able to chase your kids :) I am having fun chasing mine...although I can only do it for so long!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I think you are a great example! Health is the issue, and always should be, but that doesn't mean you're going to be skinny as a supermodel for most people. Healthy comes in different shapes and sizes for different people, but it's never obese. I am not, and have never been super skinny, but I'm not huge either. I am however larger than I would wish to be, mostly because I'd like to fit in certain clothes again, but that's due to giving birth to three amazing children, being pregnant five times in five years, and some health issues that have kept me from being as active as I would like to be.
    I don't look like what most people think of when they think of a runner, but I do run a few miles three to four days a week. We try to eat organic and whole foods and I try to make one meal a day a salad most days.
    I have lost some weight in the last few months, but it comes back so easily, but I'm going to keep going on whether I lose or not. You see, on both sides of my family there has been diabetes and heart disease. My dad, his mom, my older brother, and my mom's dad all had/have diabetes. My dad has congestive heart failure and has had quadruple bypass surgeries while in his fifties, but they said he started have heart attacks in his early thirties. His father was the same way, and it's all hereditary. You couldn't know this to look at me, and larger size would definitely make these issues worse or even bring them on more quickly.
    So, I'm not worried as much about how I look as whether or not I will be here for my kids. I have had heart arrythmias going back to high school when I was a lot skinnier.
    I said all this not to point to myself as an example, but to show that we don't know what a person's health issues are just from looking at their size, but we all know that the larger we are the more health concerns there are. And how rude and unfeeling could a person be to criticize someone else for wanting to be healthier, for wanting to live longer and healthier for the sake of themselves and their families?
    Brittany, I think what you're doing is admirable. You're putting your kids and husband first. You're choosing to discipline yourself and deny yourself what you want right now in order to be more for them in the future. I know how insanely hard it is to lose weight, and am by no means an expert at it myself, but I do know it's one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do.
    I feel safe in saying that all of us who regularly have been reading your blog for a while, only have love for you, and are constantly inspired by you. Stay strong and ignore the haters, you will look beautiful at whatever size you are, because you are beautiful inside and out, but there is nothing more beautiful than feeling healthy and energetic and being able to enjoy your life. I applaud you for calling out what can only be described as sour grapes from those who wish to justify their own issues through others. If putting down others makes them feel better, like a bully in grade school, then they need to examine themselves.
    We all love you here!
    Sarah

    ReplyDelete
  29. This was a really good post and a lot of the comments really touched me as well.
    It is horrible that happened to your friend. Some people cab be very self centered thinking how someone else's weight effects them, when in reality, of course it has nothing to do with them, it is a personal thing. Unless you are a very close friend/relative, I do not see how you could be comfortable discussing such things and even then it is like walking on a tight wire.

    I know, I have struggled with this too. I have been trying hard to not take offensive when people close to me criticize when I don't want to over indulge when eating with them (I try to explain it away without bringing up the dreaded word DIET to avoid having to hear their thought s on my weight), but on the other hand I am also feel offended when people bring up that I am not as physically active anymore and should be working out. I know they want to be supportive and there for me, but I am sensitive about it because I know that it is something that I am struggling with.
    I know other people struggle with the same things, so I try to avoid all talk about these things unless it is directly brought up and I can only give my personal experience, no judgement.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I love reading your blog. Thank you for writing this. I am already on my weight loss journey and it has been tough to accept and love myself, but after reading this, I feel a bit better.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Fabulous post for all of us women out there curvy or skinny. Love yourself and be healthy.
    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  32. You have made a wise choice, B! May the force be with you. :)

    ReplyDelete

  33. Elly Mayday’s hateful commenter – clearly this person didn’t get the info. A size 10 IS a considered a plus-size model now.

    There's a wonderful chart in this article that really illustrates this --
    http://midlife-beauty.com/2012/10/26/vanity-sizing-the-travesty-tyranny-of-the-dressing-room/

    ReplyDelete
  34. Good for you! I hope you will occasionally keep us updated as to your progress so that we can cheer you on. Maybe there are enough of us here that could join you - I know I have been slowly gaining and am wanting to loose a bit more so that I can keep up with my 5 year old son, his energy is endless!

    ReplyDelete
  35. What a great post! It's so sad, it seems as though people only support extremes. Extremely skinny or plus size. When anyone who as been established as one of those tries to become healthy, they get a lot of hate. Congrats on that 5 lb. weight loss! All of your true fans here support you and will cheer you on. :) Now I am going off to check out that amazing Elly Mayday's blog.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hi Beautiful,
    I just started following your blog by email a few weeks ago. I want to sew my own wardrobe and I love vintage pieces and you are inspiring to me! I always found the big-girl following to be uncomfortable to me. I am 5 foot tall and 124 pounds. I will barely ever look like a woman, which is a sad thing for me. The bottom of my ribs and hip bone can touch each other if I'm in the fetal position, haha. I have always had an issue with extra weight (on me), because that made me "less than". I weighed 95-105 for a very long time, until I reached my late 20s and just became 'ok" with gaining weight

    . I just lost my sister to cervical cancer in 2010. My sister was always on the heavy side with big boobs (she looked like my mom, and I looked like my Dad). I saw her go from a bigger girl, until she weighed less than me. That was really scary for me. Being skinny wasn't so important anymore. I could tell she was feeling good about herself, but it became too much too quickly. At least she had a few minutes of really feeling good about herself and how she looked. That was important to her, because she could control that at the time. She didn't like to lay around (like i would do). I'm a nurse, and have worked on two Oncology wards. My sister was on pain meds that was more than what 10 patients could be taking at the time. I've never seen anything like that. There is NO WAY in hell that you can control something like that, even if you wanted to with cancer. One minute she was a skeleton, and the next she was so swollen with fluid her skin was breaking from the stretching. Cancer is a disgusting violating horrible disease. And I am SO MAD, that I read that someone would not accept her body because of that. Oh well, F* you. You just weeded out a toxic person. There is so many negative things to deal with when you have cancer, I'm appalled that a person would not accept another person because they changed.

    I think it's great that you are losing weight for your health. You give many important reasons for it. Humans are not made to be skeletons or morbidly obese, there is a fine middle, and that line has been severely blurred by media and environment. I had super low self-esteem when I was struggling with not gaining weight. It's the same struggle as losing weight, for me. I'm ok with gaining weight, but I have body dysmorphia. What I weigh at 128, is what I thought I looked like at 95 lbs. I have a friend with stomach issues, that has lost a lot of weight, and is around my height, and weighs 110 and I'm grossed out that I couldn't see how super skinny I was. It just seemed so stupid to me, that my most important problem at the time, wasn't really a problem. I didn't wear clothes I enjoyed or felt happy to "just be".

    To be supportive of each other, for what this society deems as a problem, is great. There are tons of beautiful girls that are overweight and are super beautiful. What makes me sad, is that when a body changes, then they aren't supportive anymore. Which is ironic to me, because you were supportive of them, when others may not be. That you are only accepted, because you aren't accepted by others...It's just weird. And it super struck a nerve about your friend with cancer. So thanks for posting this. I didn't read the other comments. My views have changed a lot, because I went through that, and I'm grateful that I can focus on the important things.

    PS-she was diagnosed in Jan 09, and passed in Aug 10. She didn't have a PAP for over 2 years. The recommended guidelines used to be every year, but has changed to every 3 years. Cervical cancer happens from a strain of HPV that happens during genital contact-skin to skin. It is not passed in the fluids (well, i guess it is, but what I'm saying is that it only takes skin to skin contact). If you have ever had an unusual PAP, I recommend that you still go ever year...steps off soapbox.

    -karrie
    ksmith8@emich.edu

    ReplyDelete
  37. In 2005, I was 30 years old and overweight. My blood pressure was 150/90 and my cholesterol was 201. I was tired all the time and I felt sluggish a lot. I ate fast food twice a day and often ate an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's every night. When I hit 30, I decided to take charge and get fit. I lost 33 pounds and managed to keep it most of it off. I did gain back 14-15 pounds in 2011/12 but lost it again when I made fitness a priority again. Most people are super supportive but once in a while I encounter someone who is downright nasty and looking to find something to be offended by. I will sometimes talk about my weight loss journey and someone will accuse me of "hating on big girls." I get very mad at this. I embrace all sizes and all shapes. I love the differences that make us unique. As an Irish, Norwegian-American Jewish girl, who parents emigrated to the US, I all about loving different cultures, languages, and people. Anyway, when someone thinks they are "calling me out" for "bashing big girls" that burns my biscuits because I am only speaking to MY experience. I was very unhealthy and my doctor referred me to a nutritionist. I got fit for me. I do not look down on anyone, big, small, tall, short, etc. I think we need to unite and be kind. We need to accept, embrace, and celebrate each other. No of this us versus them mentality. There is too much of that in the world already. Nevertheless, I say hold head high, live for you, and what other people think of us is not our business! I adore you for who you are and I think you are one fierce and fetching gal!

    ReplyDelete
  38. People, huh? In daily life, you may run across one of these winners maybe a handful of times, but the Internets just brings 'em out in force.

    I do read this sort of thing as insecurity. If someone is doing something differently (gaining weight, losing weight, colouring their grey hair, not colouring it, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, homeschooling, etc.) it can feel like a judgment, and that makes people defensive (and nasty, sometimes). You know, the old, "If it is good enough for me, why do you think you're special?"

    Still, you'd have to be pretty bloody insecure to attack a woman with cancer for losing weight *shakes head in dismay*

    I've never felt I owed anyone an explanation for my decisions unless it directly involved them-this is a policy that has served me well. There are enough people in the world that won't give you s**t for the way you live your life, why waste time on the ones that do?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ugh, I hate haters. Years ago I had a similar experience. I lost weight due to a change in diet to manage a gall bladder I couldn't afford to remove. I was told by quite a few women that they were disappointed in me because I had been a confident big woman. How dare I preach body confidence and then lose weight. Folks took it as I was preaching body acceptance while secretly hating my big body which was far from the truth. It is entirely possible to love oneself as is and also want to lose weight. I was beautiful at 105, I was beautiful at 225, I am beautiful at every size in between. But 225 was killing my knees and ankles and I stand on my feet all day. My cholesterol was up.

    Brit, thank you for today's post. Those folks that tell someone they are no longer a role model because they are no longer a plus size are engaging in every bit of body shaming as those they shame us for being big. You are an awesome role model, finding your blog and seeing how beautiful you and your curves look in your vintage encouraged me to start wearing vintage looks. I have learned so much about vintage from this blog. No matter what size you are, you will still be a role model. Whether you lose weight for health reasons or just because you darn well feel like it it's your right to do so.
    I still can't get over the fact that that woman criticized someone who lost weight because of cancer. Beyond rude.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I love how beautiful you are, no matter what your shape is. You are beautiful and lovely, intelligent with so much fun stuff in your blog (feeling really lucky to have found your blog). I know you are making a good choice, and will always be on your side. Please don't care too much about how other people will look at you. Your own health and body, and your happiness are the most important. And I know how important being healthy is, and that's what I aim to be. Good luck! Love you.

    A pretty new follower in Oz,
    Shel

    ReplyDelete
  41. This is an awesome, awesome post! I have a friend who is working soooo hard right now to lose weight. And she is doing it for all the reasons you mentioned; her health, her knees, her general well-being. She always looks beautiful to me, but I know this is what she needs to be healthy. I cannot imagine someone criticizing that; and to criticize over something as awful as cancer! Wow. I don't think someone who makes such an uneducated and ridiculous comment as that fan did, can be very happy.
    Thank you for this inspiring post!
    ~xoxo, CoriLynn

    ReplyDelete
  42. You should send this page to Elly Mayday, I think she would be really touched. :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I really appreciated this post. I am 5' 3" and weigh 180. I have PCOS and really struggle with my weight and body image. I found your blog a few months ago and was inspired by how pretty you looked in all your vintage clothes! I started adding more figure-flattering vintage items and silhouettes to my wardrobe, and it's helped to make a huge impact in how I see myself in the mirror every morning. Because of that, you'll have a fan in me, regardless of your weight!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Hello, I just find your blog. I am dedicated to vintage so I'm glad I discover it !
    I always was skinny, but after the loss of my father, I gained a lots of weight. But I actually don't care because now I am curvy and really vintage like !
    But anyway, I am a photo model in France... And here up you cannot be in between. You have to be plus size or really fit.
    I don't get it, how can't we be just proud of how we are if we have this society between us telling us how to be anytime...
    It's awful.
    But thanks for the article, pleased to met you, I'm Lorna.
    Http://lornaarp.blogspot.fr

    ReplyDelete
  46. I love how honest you are in this post. I totally agree with you...we need to be body positive AND healthy. I've always been called a 'stick', particularly by family friends, but I don't think that's a good description anymore because I DO have hips. ;). I'm a figure skater and pride myself on trying to stay fit and in shape so I can be a better athlete. I've been gaining weight since late summer, due to lots of family get to-togethers and the holidays. I still feel pretty and confidant in my body, but I know I'm not at my fittest. Yet, people don't seem to understand that. They assume that since I'm relatively small, and yet want to loose weight, I must be anorexic or something. Nothing could be farther from the truth! I just want to shed some pounds through eating healthier and working out, so I can excel at my sport. I think people need to be more understanding of the relative terms of being fit, and should embrace everyone being healthy. And criticizing someone for wanting to get back and shape? So stupid. Are you really a fan if you don't want the person you look up to to be healthier?

    Anyway, just my two cents. :)

    ~Gillian
    youngyankeelady.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  47. Sheesh, what is wrong with people? I saw the same thing with Elly and just wanted to shake some sense into the people who were mad about her weight loss (which she couldn't help) and about her taking the opportunity (ok, that isn't quite the right phrasing, but I'm not sure how else to put it) to find healthy ways to maintain her new weight when she was healthier.

    I'm a big proponent of healthy and happy no matter your size, and get exhausted by people who bash on others for their size - hate on them because they're large, hate on them because they're small, hate on them because they're in the middle, and making assumptions about their health, which is between them and their doctor... It's such nonsense! Just leave people be and get on with your own life, you know? I'm not sure why that's such a hard thing for people to grasp.

    ReplyDelete

I read every single comment (even on old posts) and they make my day! If you have a question, please email me at brittanyvavoomvintage@gmail.com. Thank you for reading me!